Gemlins

We all have gremlins in our mind that tell us "I no good at ...." or "I'll never be succesful at ....". Steve Peters in the Chimp Paradox talks about the Chimp in our brain putting these gremlins there and that they should be dismissed as nonsense. But how do we work out what are gremlins and how do we get rid of them?

A useful test comes from CBT where we imagine a judge analysing the evidence of the situation. Where is the evidence that we are no good at this or that particular activity. If we try to observe it neutrally we may draw the conclusion that we are no good at certain skills because we have always given up too easily and never really practiced them fully.

So the lesson here is; before we give a negative verdict on ourselves analyse the evidence, it is perhaps the chimp being overly dramatic as usual.

Now my three things to be grateful for

1. I managed to get out on the bike into the countryside today although it was a wee bit chilly on the hands and feet it was dry.

2. My wife does not have any university work today so we are actually relaxing at home this afternoon.

3. We are having a takeaway for dinner as it is the weekend.

4. an extra I know, There is big game here in Glasgow tomorrow so I may be either feeling grateful or disappointed tomorrow.

Cheers

How do you box that chimp?

I read the Chimp Paradox by Steve Peters about three years ago now and although I found it really helpful I have to keep reminding myself it is a long term skill to be learned rather than a quick fix.

One of the trickiest new habits to learn is how to "box that chimp" that is banish unhelpful and destructive thought patterns and replace them with more helpful autopilots.

Now I am still guilty of allowing the chimp part of my brain to receive information rather than the human part. This leads to me worrying and thinking negatively on things over which I have no control.

Although I have benefitted greatly from the book I still find it hard to box that chimp and have to force myself to think about it before making decisions.

Also here's my gratitude list

1. I'm still off work, back on Monday and it is great to spend some time with the kids.

2. Here in Scotland all the chat is about another independence referendum and although this would be our third such vote in four years and we are all a little campaign weary at present at least we live in a democracy and can exercise a vote.

3. Finally, it is a dry day so a wee trip to the park is on the agenda for later today.

Cheers 

Optimising the Performance of the Human Mind: Steve Peters at TEDxYouth@...

This is an inspirational video clip, totally love it as Dr Peters very concisely explains the complex workings of our brain. The concept of managing unhelpful and destructive thoughts by asking "Do I want to have these thoughts?" is very powerful. Even being aware we have an inner chimp who should be boxed in is very powerful. If you have not read the book please do, one of the best about.

Anyway, three more items for my gratitude list.

1. I am so proud of my wife who is working full time while completing a degree, at which she is excelling.

2. I caught up with my oldest pal yesterday and spent the day with him, my youngest son is the same age as his boy and they get on great.

3. I'm still of work and just about to do a session on the turbo trainer.



Cheers

Gratitude List

One of the best ways to keep ourselves positive is to list all the things which we are grateful for.

A friend at work was telling me she currently forces herself to write three things she is grateful for every day. She says she sometimes has to mention quite mundane items on her list to ensure she makes it to three. She also says it is difficult to always come up with fresh material but has to repeat herself a fair bit.

Anyway, in addition to writing my (almost) daily blog I'm going to finish with a list of things for which I feel gratitude.

1. I'm off work at the moment with the kids for a week and I didn't have to face the daily commute this morning.

2. After a morning of rain the weather is drying up and I can take the kids to the park after lunch. It rains on average every second day here in Glasgow so I'm grateful it won't be raining today. The sun has just appeared so that is a result.

3. I'm taking my oldest son to a champions league footie match tomorrow night which will be his first big night at the football and mine for a few years.

Cheers

People with too much confidence

The world appears to have plenty of people with too much confidence as well as too little.

People who make promises to voters without keeping them for example. Boris Johnson and Nigel Farage spring to mind. Donald Trump clearly believes he can do and say what he pleases.

I'm shocked that even one person believes him never mind 40% of the US electorate who appear to be supporting him in the forthcoming election. If he were to win, a similar sequence of events would follow as happened here in the UK after Brexit; all the arguments for leaving the UK have unravelled very quickly.

Beware of over confident people. They can be very dangerous.

Cheers

Confidence:Biggest Barrier to Employment

I had a very interesting work related meeting with the Manager of an agency which offers support to people with Additional Support Needs to help them gain or keep a job.

Sadly the biggest single factor in preventing these people in succeeding in work is not their additional support need whether it be Aspergers or Dyslexia. It is in fact their confidence has been dented so much as they can perceive themselves as being different.

How sad is that?

People with so much to offer but prevented by a barrier in their mind which tells them they are not good enough. But it isn't real. The barriers don't exist. If only everyone, myself included, could remember that all the time.

Cheers

Living Life on your own terms

There are times where those of us lacking in confidence can become submissive when dealing with a more confident assertive colleague or  family member.

It can become second nature. I think even being aware that it is occurring is a good starting point. 

The concept of an imaginary twin is a useful one here. Would we put up with them being treated badly? Thought not.

Why put up with it ourselves then?

Cheers