What have I learned so far?

When I started this project back in July my somewhat ambitious objective was to blog about confidence every day for a year to see if this would have an impact on my own confidence levels. This is an idea I had stolen from a book called the Happiness Project which had the same aim except with happiness obviously.

I managed to keep the daily posts going for the first few months but it became increasingly ore difficult to find the time and subject matter to blog every day.

However, I am keeping going and still posting as often as possible when I have the time and something to say.

What is the most important lesson I have learned so far?

Confidence is partly a skill we can develop and improve upon although individuals begin with differing levels of self belief initially.

However, it is in our own hands and if we implement some of the tools and techniques available we can build our self belief regardless of what life may throw at us.

Cheers

Well what a week

I think the world is now beginning to calm down slightly after the shock of the Trump election victory across the Atlantic.

Here in Britain, in particular, there are few who are not slightly concerned about the implications domestically and on the international stage. It was also a little disconcerting to see our very own political firebrand Nigel Farage on a jolly with the man of the moment at Trump Towers.

For those of us lacking the confidence (or arrogance) levels of Trump or Farage it is difficult to square the circle. How can they face the cameras, smile and joke when they know so many people worldwide hold them in disdain for their extreme views?

Would it be an advantage to have those levels of confidence? Perhaps it doesn't appear to have done that pair any harm.

However, I think most of us, even with a modicum of self awareness, realise that they are also slightly detached from reality. The smiles will be over soon enough a couple of years down the line when the promises have been broken and the situation is worse rather than improved.

I don't think we should aspire to have those levels of confidence where it is actually arrogance as a little humility is actually a far more positive trait. 

Cheers

The big vote

Today sees many millions of American voters take to the polls to elect their next president. The world watches on, with many here in the UK hoping for a majority for Clinton. Neither candidate is especially inspiring but the prevailing view is that the Democratic candidate will be a safer pair of hands as opposed to the unpredictable demagogue.

On the International stage someone as volatile and unpredictable as Trump is a clear liability. It appears he has no understanding of the risks invovled or the delicate relationships that maintain peace. The mutual repect he also has with Putin may come to an end pretty quickly too. It appears he is just there as a result of his own confidence and self belief. And a fair dose of arrogance.

If we could just have a small amount of that confidence. Just not too much!

Things I am grateful for

1. My wife has a university assessment today and I'm really proud of her as she is doing so well.

2. Scotland play England at football on Friday night which is exciting many of us here in Glasgow.

3. The snow that has been forecast looks like it may be rain now, which is a relief although I must be getting old. I used to love the snow!

 Cheers

Everyone can Learn and Improve

When we are low on confidence it is easy to caught in a cycle of despair. We try something, it doesn't work out initially, we give up and say "It's pointless, I'm no use at anything." Sound familiar?

The Growth Mindset, first described by Carol Dweck, gives us a chance to break out of that loop. If we work hard enough and persist we can gain success. But what is success? If we widen our definition of success and say any situation where we can learn and grow as a person is a success then it can be quite liberating.

An example would be if we took up a new sport like golf or running. We may never achieve success in terms of winning trophies or even matches/races but we will still be better off than if we had never started it in the first place.

Reasons to be grateful

1. It is a glorious sunny autumn morning although it is a bit chilly!

2. I made it out for a 24 mile cycle this morning and there is nothing to you appreciate a warm house than being out training in the cold.

3. We are heading out for dinner at a local restaurant later.

Cheers

The Natural Ebbs and Flows of the Mind

I have learned over the years that our mood, mind and levels of self esteem are constantly changing and evolving. There is a temptation sometimes to take a mood snapshot and decide that our lowest point is representative of the overall picture.

The ability to take a step back from our thoughts and view them as naturally occurring highs and lows is a skill which can be learned. Meditation is a great way to alter how we feel about ourselves and is relatively easy to start, there are loads of resources online and many of them are free. I use buddanet although I wouldn't describe myself as a Buddhist (I love bacon sandwiches too much to be a veggie for a start!) but that doesn't really matter, it is still easy to practice mindfulness.

Things I a grateful for

1. I love reading but can't find the time at the moment, but there are plenty of books out there I will read when I get round to it.

2. It is Friday tomorrow which means I will have a short but really relaxing weekend.

3. I am having curry for dinner tomorrow.

Cheers

Remaining Confident at all times

It is probably fair to say there is a fair amount of disillusionment and complaining at my work at the moment.

I remember reading a few years ago now in "How to Win Friends and Influence People" (I think, it was a while ago!) that it is generally a bad idea to be seen to complain or criticise others behind their back. The listener actually associates the negative points being complained about in another person with the person telling them. So if you want others to have a positive view of you, stay away from the gossip!

I have tried to that and been reasonably successful but at the moment everyone seems to be moaning about everyone else. It is not a great time. Nobody seems grateful we have secure, reasonably well paid jobs.

Things I am grateful for

1. I have a job I really enjoy despite all the complaining.

2. My departmental colleagues are really nice people and we rarely have a disagreement.

3. I managed 30 minutes training on the bike today and feel so much better for it.

Cheers