The Tao of Pooh

I bumped into a very old friend a couple of weeks ago. He reminded me of a book I nagged him to reading back in the early nineties which I had completely forgotten about.

Amazingly, not only had my old pal remembered the Tao of Pooh, he had also studied Taoism further trying to blend some of the key messages into his life. He urged me to look into it further again and reread the book. As soon as I was home I was straight onto Amazon to order a paperback copy. It was not available in Kindle format!

Delving back into a book I loved when I was 21 in my mid forties was a bit odd. It was a little like going back to childhood playground or old school. It was recognisable but seemed and seemed a bit smaller.

However, the main lessons of Taoism sound very worthwhile; don't try to be someone you are not, maintain humility and humbleness and keep faith in ourselves maintaining patience as "every thousand mile journey starts with a single step."

I think I'll read some more on Taoism.

Cheers
  

Confidence and Teamwork

I am reading Matthew Syed's latest book The Greatest at the moment. It is exactly the type of book I love delving deeper into sports of all types to identify lessons for success in life.

One point in particular struck me. His disdain for personal awards in team sports like football such as world player of the year which has been shared between Messi and Ronaldo for the last few years. However, the point Syed makes is that these players would be nothing without their teammates to carry out the less glamorous ball winning and passing duties. 

He has a point.

Which got me thinking. We are all members of teams one way or another whether that is in relationships or the workplace and it is our duty to be good team mates to ensure others can shine and do the best they can. So even if we don't gain any personal accolades we can be save in the knowledge we have made life better for others. And nothing can provide a greater confidence boost than that.

Cheers

The Iceberg Illusion

I love this graphic which I stole from Matthew Syed's twitter feed. It sums things up perfectly. When something looks really easy or second nature to someone, there has generally been a lot of work put in.

 

How to persuade someone to change their mind...

Seventeenth century philosopher and mathematician Blaise Pascal a brief but productive life. He died the age of 39 but not before some remarkmarkable theories and discoveries.

There was a story in the papers earlier in the week as he apparently preempted psychologists by hundreds of years by developing a theory of how to persuade others to change their view.

The secret, apparently, is not to argue black is black or white is white. Rather, we should describe our view in the perspective of allowing the other person to see the whole story while not actually disagreeing with their view. This allows them to take on board new information or adopt a view without having to swallow their pride and accept they are wrong.

I think many of us who lack confidence can be concerned about being assertive enough the persuade others. But being bolshy isn't necessary merely providing a full view of the facts!

Cheers

Too much confidence is even worse....

It is doubtful whether this issue would be a realistic concern for any of us. I suppose our journey to increasing self belief would be complete if we grew over confident. However, I think this could be even worse than failing self esteem.

Lets take our old friend Donald Trump who recently awarded himself an A for effort after the initial few weeks of Precidency. He is now waking up to the harsh reality of 24/7 coverage from the world media and we have had a number of embarassing episodes. The Mike Flynn resignation, the courts blocking his executive order for the travel ban, his arbitrary bans on various media organisations and now we have his Attorney General Jeff Sessions in hot water over his links to the Russian administration.

It's not so easy being in the hot seat as it was being the rogue, populist outsider only a few months ago. This is only after a few weeks as well without any real negative foreign affairs or economic issues to deal with. All these problems have been created internally driven by Trump's hubris.

I suppose the moral of the story is that it is positive to try to build our own confidence but be very wary of those who display too much. It generally leads to disaster.

Cheers

Dr Steve Peters for Kids

There was a report recently in the local media here in Scotland about some research conducted at a school in Scotland in helping the pupils deal with stress. The report went to say that around 40% of the pupils were stressed and needed extra support. They cited the twin stresses of forthcoming exams (an age old problem) and the pressure to appear to have a perfect life on social media (a newer problem).

I think my old friend Dr Steve Peters has a lot of really useful input here and my view is that his theories should be taught to children as well as adults.

This video is a really useful starting point.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e6bHxhfJGIU

Cheers

Building Confidence in Children - Carol Dweck

Carol Dweck has completed some very interesting research into how to motivate and support individuals and children in particular.

Startlingly, she concludes that tell children they are smart and clever can be damaging to them. This is because if a child believes they are smart they are less likely to push themselves as they don't want to fail and lose their "smart" label.

Better to reward children for being determined, willing to attempt challenging tasks and showing grit. These should motivate kids to keep going even if they fail at first.

Cheers