Belief in your own values

The Labour Party here in the UK are undergoing a leadership election. The incumbent, Jeremy Corbyn has lost the confidence of his Parliamentary MPs but he has kept going despite widespread resignations from his shadow cabinet. 

Under most circumstances most of us would not have the confidence to keep going and do what most of the MPs want and resign. However, Corbyn has the support of many Labour supporters in the country, although it is unlikely he presuade enough of the electorate to vote for Labour if there were a General Election.

Corbyn keeps going, and has some fanatical support from rank and file members because he is seen as someone with integrity and as a man who stick to his values.

And sometimes we must stick to our values even when we don't have the support of our colleagues.

Cheers

Fear of others

This topic has been in the media a lot in recent weeks and months. There seems to be increasing media hysteria about immigrants playing on some individuals irrational fear of people who happen to be slightly different from them.

Politicians like Nigel Farage, Donald Trump and newspapers like the Daily Mail attempt to create division and create us and  them scenarios to put forward abhorrent political messages based on fear. 

Steven Pinker has written many fascinating books including the Blank Slate, which is a really worthwhile and interesting read. In this book he talks about the difference between races of people. The conclusion was that given how large the human population is it is exceptionally homogeneous when compared to other species. The fact that most stuck in my mind was that there was a far greater difference genetically within races of people than between different races.

In other words we have far more in common than anything that separates.

Maybe we should bear that in mind and switch over when we hear extreme right wing politicians like Farage on their rants.

But this fear others, where does it stem from? A lack of self confidence perhaps?

Cheers

Feel the fear and do it anyway

This was one of the first self books I ever read. I don't even know why it attracted my attention in Waterstone's bookstore where I was more likely to be found perusing the shelves of the sports section. This was in the 1990's long before the advent of online bookstores so, when I had a spare hour or two I would head into the bookshop

However, although initially I was a little wary of it as I feared it would contain Americanisms and not really be appropriate for me. However, it was a revelation, I really enjoyed it as it really spoke to me.

The basic premise of the book is that we all feel unconformable and fearful in new and unfamiliar situations and there is no point in denying that. Instead we should try to use this energy to go ahead and confront our challenges. This was really helpful for me because at that point I was unhappy in my career and life in general.

So, even though it is about 20 years since I first read it I would still recommend it to help us develop our confidence.

Cheers   

Last Weekend

Last weekend was a big occasion in my home city of Glasgow. Rivalries were renewed by two great rivals with Celtic taking on Rangers in the league.

This leads to the very real possibility of street violence with the occurrences of domestic abuse increasing three fold. The atmosphere in the city centre is very tense with the atmosphere in the stadium poisonous. 

Why, as a city do we put ourselves through it?

The reason is simple; when the team you support wins then it is amazing. Or I used to find it amazing but I have learned to try not to gain confidence and gain well being from events outwith my control.

But sometimes old habits die hard and it was great to win 5-1.

Cheers   

Helping other before more confident

As I am sure you are aware one of the most liberating aspects of recognising our own lack of confidence is that we are not alone. There are many others in the same situation. Or even worse.

Their self esteem and belief eroded by alk manner of life events.

What gives me more feeling of well being than anything else is the notion that I can helping others with their own confidence battles.

So when we are feeling a lack of self belief surely it is better to look outwards and think what can I do for my friends and family than what can they do for me.

To have good friends one must become a good friend.

Cheers 

The Chimp Paradox

The Chimp Paradox is my favourite book of it's type, it is written by Dr Steve Peters who has worked with the very successful UK track cycling team.

If you have confidence issues and have been affected by self doubt, and given you a reading a blog on it then I am guessing it is of interest.

In the book Peters actually achieves something amazing he gets the reader to see themselves, the world and interactions with others in a completely different perspective.

It is calming, straightforward and an easy read, it is well worth a try, I'll go into more detail on it in future posts

Cheers

Learning new skills

One thing I have learned in the last few weeks of my blog is that confidence is a double edged sword. We know the strategies we can employ to help build our confidence like meeting new people, eating healthily and regularly exercising but it takes a certain amount of confidence to take the initiative and try any of these activities.

I would add learning new skills to the list as well, because after we have mastered something there is no better feeling of satisfaction and pleasure than being able to for example speak a foreign language or play a musical instrument. Please note I can do neither!

However, the paradox is that learning takes the most out of our confidence as well, especially when it is something challenging. Messy can be messy, unpleasant, scary and unfair (why do things come easily to other people.)

I have tried to alter my attitude to learning in recent years and try to appreciate the journey with all it's challenges and setbacks rather than give up as soon as I had a negative experience (which I have previous for.)

It is not easy but I feel I am making progress!

Cheers