An interesting piece of Scientific Research which was published last year focused on how to decrease worry and anxiety resulting in increased happiness.
The results were very interesting making four main recommendations
1. Ask "What am I grateful for?" Even if one don't find anything the process still helps make improvements.
2. Label any negative emotions. Giving them a name ensures they are less threatening.
3. Decide. You don't have to make the perfect decision, good enough is usually good enough.
4. Hus, Hugs, Hugs, physical contact decreased pain, even physical pain, and increases positive feelings.
Interesting stuff which will be discussed in more detail later.
Cheers
Saturday, 13 August 2016
He Wished He Was a Duck
Sorry for all you non sports fans but the Olympics has been such a great source of inspiration to help us manage our own thought processes and confidence levels.
Take the GB cox-less four man rowing team. This team actually went on to win Gold in Rio.
However, they were still a bag of nerves and anxiety beforehand. So much so that team member Constantine Louloudis admitted that he was quite envious of the ducks swimming about, seemingly without a care in the world while he had to deal with the pressure and expectations of the event after four years of training. He actually said at one point he wished he was a duck.
This is a great lesson for all of us who suffer from confidence issues, even Olympic Champions get anxious and nervous. We are all as human as each other.
Take the GB cox-less four man rowing team. This team actually went on to win Gold in Rio.
However, they were still a bag of nerves and anxiety beforehand. So much so that team member Constantine Louloudis admitted that he was quite envious of the ducks swimming about, seemingly without a care in the world while he had to deal with the pressure and expectations of the event after four years of training. He actually said at one point he wished he was a duck.
This is a great lesson for all of us who suffer from confidence issues, even Olympic Champions get anxious and nervous. We are all as human as each other.
Friday, 12 August 2016
More on the Olynpics
Although it was the GB team who were defeated in the final of the Men's Rugby Sevens I couldn't help but cheer as Fiji took gold by defeating them convincingly in the final. It was that country's first ever Olympic medal and it was achieved in a sport that, as a nation, they are mad about.
The final should have been a tight match, both teams had secured a series of very close victories by a handful of points to make it there. So why did it turn into a rout with the victors claiming gold by 43 to 7 points?
Anyone who saw the build up to the match may have some ideas.
The Fijians entered the field like warriors sprinting on with a look of focused aggression in their eyes.
By contrast the UK team walked on, seconds later looking meek and physically far less imposing.
The Fijians had scored an important psychological victory even before the first whistle. When the game started it was in the same style with the Fijians storming to try after try with the GB boys left wondering what had hit them.
We are getting back to the same point from earlier posts Walk Tall and Look Confident; even when in doubt or nervous as I'm sure the Fijians were, make sure your opponent thinks you have 100% self belief.
Cheers
The final should have been a tight match, both teams had secured a series of very close victories by a handful of points to make it there. So why did it turn into a rout with the victors claiming gold by 43 to 7 points?
Anyone who saw the build up to the match may have some ideas.
The Fijians entered the field like warriors sprinting on with a look of focused aggression in their eyes.
By contrast the UK team walked on, seconds later looking meek and physically far less imposing.
The Fijians had scored an important psychological victory even before the first whistle. When the game started it was in the same style with the Fijians storming to try after try with the GB boys left wondering what had hit them.
We are getting back to the same point from earlier posts Walk Tall and Look Confident; even when in doubt or nervous as I'm sure the Fijians were, make sure your opponent thinks you have 100% self belief.
Cheers
The Chimp Paradox and the Olympics
The Olympic Games currently taking place in Rio are a great source of inspiration for those of us who are keen to build our own confidence. Every competitor, at some point or other will have faced rejection, failure and defeat and yet they still bounce back to compete and win medals at the Olympics.
Firstly, let's take the GB men's track cycling team who won gold last night in a pulsating evening in the velodrome in the sprint event. That was the third Olympics in a row in which the UK had taken the title. Despite these successes at Olympic level they had not won in the World Championship at any point in recent years. Therefore, the team may have felt that they were up against stronger opponents from New Zealand, Denmark and Germany who had all performed better than them recently
So how do they do it?
Sir Chris Hoy's analysis on the BBC was fascinating. He said that part of the success was due to technical innovation like ensuring that the team uniforms were as aerodynamic as possible by moving the seams and zips to the back. This in addition to a thousand other technical improvements would help by fractions of a second which are crucial in an event like this. Secondly, there was the training. The Uk team had clearly undergone a highly intensive and detailed training regime with the athletes peaking their performance in time for the Games.
However, these are relatively easy to copy, how do the UK team manage to keep winning gold in the Velodrome? Sir Chris offered some insight when he said the final would, in part, be down to mental strength.
One of the most significant books I have read is the Chimp Paradox by Dr Steve Peters. This helps us identify the helpful and less helpful thought patterns we can become trapped in offering a solution as we can rethink our lives based on the human brain being divided into both Human and Chimp sections. This was a life changing book for me and it was no surprise that it's author also worked for the GB cycling team.
Cheers
Firstly, let's take the GB men's track cycling team who won gold last night in a pulsating evening in the velodrome in the sprint event. That was the third Olympics in a row in which the UK had taken the title. Despite these successes at Olympic level they had not won in the World Championship at any point in recent years. Therefore, the team may have felt that they were up against stronger opponents from New Zealand, Denmark and Germany who had all performed better than them recently
So how do they do it?
Sir Chris Hoy's analysis on the BBC was fascinating. He said that part of the success was due to technical innovation like ensuring that the team uniforms were as aerodynamic as possible by moving the seams and zips to the back. This in addition to a thousand other technical improvements would help by fractions of a second which are crucial in an event like this. Secondly, there was the training. The Uk team had clearly undergone a highly intensive and detailed training regime with the athletes peaking their performance in time for the Games.
However, these are relatively easy to copy, how do the UK team manage to keep winning gold in the Velodrome? Sir Chris offered some insight when he said the final would, in part, be down to mental strength.
One of the most significant books I have read is the Chimp Paradox by Dr Steve Peters. This helps us identify the helpful and less helpful thought patterns we can become trapped in offering a solution as we can rethink our lives based on the human brain being divided into both Human and Chimp sections. This was a life changing book for me and it was no surprise that it's author also worked for the GB cycling team.
Cheers
Thursday, 11 August 2016
The Power of your Subconscious
One of my favourite writers is Malcolm Gladwell and I have really enjoyed his books like Outliers, Tipping Point and Blink.
In Blink he examines the human subconscious and it's huge impact on our lives and outcomes.
One example he uses is that of a pitcher in a baseball team. Now forgive me here as a Scotsman I am no expert on this sport but what he says is that actually the batsman does not actually have enough time to see the ball arrive. The human brain can't process the information quickly enough as the ball is moving so fast from such a short distance.
So how can anyone actually hit the ball if they don't have time to see it arrive? Well they judge the shape of the pitcher's arm and body using their subconscious and use that and their experience to judge the trajectory of the ball.
What has this got to do with helping to build confidence? Often we approach a situation expecting negative outcomes based on our subconscious fears rather than any real life issues.
There is a cliche here "We find what we are looking for" and if our minds are looking, even subconsciously, for failure or negative outcomes then we will find them.
My big issue as a child was rejection and a crippling fear of it. Now when I examine my life so far I can see plenty of evidence that I managed be "be rejected" even though there was no actual rejection taking place.
Thankfully, the converse is true and we can train out minds to expect positive outcomes. Is this possible overnight? Obviously not, but by using CBT to re frame our thought processes we can certainly train out conscious and subconscious brains to be more have more positive and realistic expectations.
More of CBT and how to use it later.
Cheers
In Blink he examines the human subconscious and it's huge impact on our lives and outcomes.
One example he uses is that of a pitcher in a baseball team. Now forgive me here as a Scotsman I am no expert on this sport but what he says is that actually the batsman does not actually have enough time to see the ball arrive. The human brain can't process the information quickly enough as the ball is moving so fast from such a short distance.
So how can anyone actually hit the ball if they don't have time to see it arrive? Well they judge the shape of the pitcher's arm and body using their subconscious and use that and their experience to judge the trajectory of the ball.
What has this got to do with helping to build confidence? Often we approach a situation expecting negative outcomes based on our subconscious fears rather than any real life issues.
There is a cliche here "We find what we are looking for" and if our minds are looking, even subconsciously, for failure or negative outcomes then we will find them.
My big issue as a child was rejection and a crippling fear of it. Now when I examine my life so far I can see plenty of evidence that I managed be "be rejected" even though there was no actual rejection taking place.
Thankfully, the converse is true and we can train out minds to expect positive outcomes. Is this possible overnight? Obviously not, but by using CBT to re frame our thought processes we can certainly train out conscious and subconscious brains to be more have more positive and realistic expectations.
More of CBT and how to use it later.
Cheers
Wednesday, 10 August 2016
Understanding Yourself
One of the main reasons I was low in confidence and self esteem in my twenties and early thirties was that I was inthe entirely wrong career for my personality type.
I worked as a Marketing Manager and found it really stressful which lead to me drinking more than I should at weekends, which created more stress with my performance at work dipping and a vicious circle ensued.
Up until that point I hadn't really though about personality types but there are some interesting theories about it with this site a really good starting point
https://www.16personalities.com/
This is based on work by Jung and Myers Briggs which divides the population into 16 separate categories and is spookily accurate. It concludes that I should work as a teacher or mentor which I now do and totally love.
Perhaps some confidence issues we have are as a result of us being square pegs in round holes as was the case with myself.
I would recommend looking into this further even if is results, as it did in my case, with a complete change in direction.
Cheers
I worked as a Marketing Manager and found it really stressful which lead to me drinking more than I should at weekends, which created more stress with my performance at work dipping and a vicious circle ensued.
Up until that point I hadn't really though about personality types but there are some interesting theories about it with this site a really good starting point
https://www.16personalities.com/
This is based on work by Jung and Myers Briggs which divides the population into 16 separate categories and is spookily accurate. It concludes that I should work as a teacher or mentor which I now do and totally love.
Perhaps some confidence issues we have are as a result of us being square pegs in round holes as was the case with myself.
I would recommend looking into this further even if is results, as it did in my case, with a complete change in direction.
Cheers
Tuesday, 9 August 2016
Being kind to others
I have heard two really dreadful stories recently perpetrated on two really nice decent people.
Firstly, a neighbour had "I Will Kill You" scratched into her car with a key. Now this neighbour is a thoroughly decent ordinary and friendly local mum. Why anyone would want to intimidate her in such a way I have no idea.
Secondly, a friend of a friend has been the subject of an atrocious, anonymous stalking and bullying campaign. Again the victim is a warm, friendly,kind and very normal mum. So again why would anyone want to do that? Thankfully the police successfully caught the stalker.
Can you imagine how much the confidence of these poor victims would be affected by such attacks?
Why did the attackers do it? By demeaning another an acquaintance or stranger do they feel better about themselves.
Anyway this lead me to think. Do we humans spend too much time being negative to others?
Are we too fast to criticise and not quick enough to say thanks and show appreciation?
I suppose it is up to us as individuals to make sure we are kind and supportive to others and suspend judgement before rushing in with a critical conclusion.
We don't know what else is going on in their lives.
Rather than criticise and pick fault as I used to do I now try to build confidence in others as much as I can.
Cheers
Firstly, a neighbour had "I Will Kill You" scratched into her car with a key. Now this neighbour is a thoroughly decent ordinary and friendly local mum. Why anyone would want to intimidate her in such a way I have no idea.
Secondly, a friend of a friend has been the subject of an atrocious, anonymous stalking and bullying campaign. Again the victim is a warm, friendly,kind and very normal mum. So again why would anyone want to do that? Thankfully the police successfully caught the stalker.
Can you imagine how much the confidence of these poor victims would be affected by such attacks?
Why did the attackers do it? By demeaning another an acquaintance or stranger do they feel better about themselves.
Anyway this lead me to think. Do we humans spend too much time being negative to others?
Are we too fast to criticise and not quick enough to say thanks and show appreciation?
I suppose it is up to us as individuals to make sure we are kind and supportive to others and suspend judgement before rushing in with a critical conclusion.
We don't know what else is going on in their lives.
Rather than criticise and pick fault as I used to do I now try to build confidence in others as much as I can.
Cheers
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