Last Weekend

Last weekend was a big occasion in my home city of Glasgow. Rivalries were renewed by two great rivals with Celtic taking on Rangers in the league.

This leads to the very real possibility of street violence with the occurrences of domestic abuse increasing three fold. The atmosphere in the city centre is very tense with the atmosphere in the stadium poisonous. 

Why, as a city do we put ourselves through it?

The reason is simple; when the team you support wins then it is amazing. Or I used to find it amazing but I have learned to try not to gain confidence and gain well being from events outwith my control.

But sometimes old habits die hard and it was great to win 5-1.

Cheers   

Helping other before more confident

As I am sure you are aware one of the most liberating aspects of recognising our own lack of confidence is that we are not alone. There are many others in the same situation. Or even worse.

Their self esteem and belief eroded by alk manner of life events.

What gives me more feeling of well being than anything else is the notion that I can helping others with their own confidence battles.

So when we are feeling a lack of self belief surely it is better to look outwards and think what can I do for my friends and family than what can they do for me.

To have good friends one must become a good friend.

Cheers 

The Chimp Paradox

The Chimp Paradox is my favourite book of it's type, it is written by Dr Steve Peters who has worked with the very successful UK track cycling team.

If you have confidence issues and have been affected by self doubt, and given you a reading a blog on it then I am guessing it is of interest.

In the book Peters actually achieves something amazing he gets the reader to see themselves, the world and interactions with others in a completely different perspective.

It is calming, straightforward and an easy read, it is well worth a try, I'll go into more detail on it in future posts

Cheers

Learning new skills

One thing I have learned in the last few weeks of my blog is that confidence is a double edged sword. We know the strategies we can employ to help build our confidence like meeting new people, eating healthily and regularly exercising but it takes a certain amount of confidence to take the initiative and try any of these activities.

I would add learning new skills to the list as well, because after we have mastered something there is no better feeling of satisfaction and pleasure than being able to for example speak a foreign language or play a musical instrument. Please note I can do neither!

However, the paradox is that learning takes the most out of our confidence as well, especially when it is something challenging. Messy can be messy, unpleasant, scary and unfair (why do things come easily to other people.)

I have tried to alter my attitude to learning in recent years and try to appreciate the journey with all it's challenges and setbacks rather than give up as soon as I had a negative experience (which I have previous for.)

It is not easy but I feel I am making progress!

Cheers   

"I Canny Dae That!"

This is a phrase I hear a lot as a teacher in Scotland, for those of you not fluent in our version of English they mean "I cannot do that."

I am so relieved that here in Scotland we have avoided any suggestion to follow the example in England and Wales of a return to grammar schools.

To divide pupils at age 11, as has been suggested, is cruel and writes off a huge proportion of the population at a point where they have so much development still to do.

It seems this decision is based on old fashioned and outdated logic.

Current thinking states there is no such thing as bright and less bright children.

The pupils who perform well at the ages of 5 or 6 in school are the ones who have been parented best, there can be over a one year developmental gap at this point between advantaged and disadvantaged pupils. This gap then continues and even grows every year.

And guess which cohort will be the ones who perform the best in any test at age 11? those with the most supportive home environment.

Therefore, those who have had the disadvantage of having been poorly parented have the double whammy of a poorer education.

Which means even more people growing up believing they cannot do anything. Their confidence shattered at aged 11.

Makes me sick

Cheers

 

Money goes to Money

There is a Scottish Expression (well I think it is Scottish anyway) that says money goes to money which states that those who already have money can then invest and make even more than those with nothing.

But I think the same is true for confidence. When we feel good about ourselves we are then in a better place to then engage in activities which will further boost our confidence. Taking risks, meeting new people and trying new activities.

Sadly the opposite is true and we can get trapped in a vicious circle with our lives becoming smaller and smaller.

The secret is, I feel, is to have a least one or two things which bring us confidence. For me it is exercise but it could be anything. So have a think about a hobby or pastime that will make you feel better about yourself regardless of whatever else is going on in your life and stick to it.

Regardless of how low on self belief or energy I am feeling I always force myself out for a run or a cycle and it seems to work.

Cheers

 

The Positives of Exercise

As I have mentioned before the times of my life where I felt least confident coincided with my least active and therefore most overweight years.

I am now thankfully a decent weight although I do fight a serious chocolate addiction (better than my previous beer addiction.)

For one reason or another I didn't manage to squeeze in any training for the last few days.

However tonight I managed an interval session on the turbo trainer and what a difference.

I feel so much better!

The only problem is I have an exercise addiction as well.

Cheers